It’s not even 4pm yet and I can’t believe the fantastic day I’ve had. It all started when my sister gave me a spa voucher for mother’s day. And then Neal wanted to know, last night, when I’ll be making the booking. I told him that I wanted to book it when I have a free day. Because really, there’s no use in enjoying a session at the spa just to come home and have a hectic and slightly stressful day (as much as I’m sure I’ll go to bed and love the day anyway). To this he responded that I should do it today since I didn’t have a wedding booked and he was off, all I needed to do was pump milk for baby & enjoy the day.
So I’m not losing weight as fast as I thought I would. This process has taken me through so many other processes. It’s not even funny. There are so many reasons why, I guess. And while a part of my wants to say it’s motherhood, it’s really not.
The struggle has been real (insert laughing with tears in my eyes emoticon). Oh how I love this phrase. But really guys, it has been. Last night was my first time at the gym since …(let me count)… 19 days! And oh how I’ve missed it.
So I know that different things work for different people, but isn’t it a great feeling when you’ve finally found something that works for you? I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not the biggest fan of medication, especially the non-homeopathic kind, but when my baby is in pain and discomfort, I really don’t care.
Never in my life did I think that I’d enjoy being a speaker at an event (any event really) as I did at this year’s EC Meet up. Thank you so much Eleanore and Luchae for all the hard work you put into the meet ups year after year, for caring so much about the blogging community and for wanting to see them flourish so much. Also, thank you for asking me to speak at this year’s event. I really had such a great time, not only speaking, but also in simply attending the event.
Gosh, this weekend! Amazing is such an understatement. When Eleanore asked me to be one of the speakers at this year’s EC meet up, I had no idea how much fun came with saying yes. Mandy Muller, from Pregnant in Cape Town and so many other bands, was the other speaker. And together with Eleanore and Andre, from East Cape Tours, we had such a great time yesterday and it’s all thanks to Nelson Mandela Bay Tourism. As the main sponsor for the EC Meet up, they not only flew Mandy down from Cape Town for the event, they also hosted her and made sure she got to see all that Port Elizabeth had to offer for both Thursday and Friday. Due to other commitments, both Eleanore and I could only join in yesterday. And what a full day it was!
Growing up, I was surrounded by pitbulls. I got to see so many sides of them. This led me to the conclusion that they are really beautiful dogs and I don’t mean just to look at. They are so gentle and so playful. I am not ignorant though. I know they can be pretty dangerous, but I also know that this is a direct consequence of being raised wrong, aggressively or being abused by humans who just don’t care to love them right.
As Neal left the door to drop his sister off at home last night, I very loudly and very clearly placed my order for a choc caramel mcflurry. It didn’t take too long for him to come back inside and tell me no. He explained to me that I had my last mcflurry for the year the other day and I made him promise not to let me have anymore for the next year at least. Ja ja…Who really cares at that time. The appetite wants what it wants. Or rather what it has been trained for the past 9 months to want (insert can’t watch monkey emoji). And for some reason I realized I was hungry too, all while he was having this conversation with me, I didn’t understand it though, after all I just had a meal at a wedding I got back from about 2 hours before placing this order. I shrugged it off and I added a cheeseburger and fries to my order. The last time I had this was at the end of the first trimester of my pregnancy and I never craved it again thereafter, but I wanted it now, and I got it. That and my mcfurry. Neal knows; a happy wife, a happy life 😉
The time was 8:15am. I just gave Eliana a bath, had a cup of moringa leaf tea, downloaded the NTC app on my phone and laid down my yoga mat in expectation for Eliana to fall asleep so I can start crawling into what I hope will be an effective working out routine. By 9:15 am, I realized lala land was not coming soon in her world, so I put her in her car seat in front of my yoga mat and started my work out. Somehow she didn’t cry once. She just chilled there. Wide awake, starring at the at the window the entire time until she eventually fell asleep.
“Jesus at the centre of it all. Jesus at the centre of it all. From beginning to the end, it will always be you. It’s always been you Jesus, Jesus. Nothing else matters, nothing in this world will do. Jesus you’re the centre. Everything revolves around you. Jesus You. At the centre of it all.”
As they wheeled me into the operating room (theatre), I remember singing this song over and over. It’s an Israel Houghton song. I wasn’t singing it because I was anxious or anything like that. In fact, my heart was filled with so much gratitude. Expectation. I felt blessed. I was happily overwhelmed.
I knew the facts though. I’ve been googling extensively throughout my pregnancy. I knew no matter which way I gave birth; there was sooooo many risks involved. Risks that could include death. It’s like my mom always says; ‘when you’re pregnant, you’re already standing with one foot in your grave’. Quite a gloomy way to look at pregnancy hey. I was so aware that there was a chance that I would not get to see my baby, hold her, know her. I knew all of that, but I also knew that God promised me a little girl more than 5 years ago and with this little girl He was going to bless me. Whatever fears were looming in my head and my heart, the truth remained my God loves us and He wanted to bless us with this little girl. This took me so long to understand, but when I did, I got it and Neal was really glad that did. My dear steadfast husband didn’t get my unbelief and while he didn’t entertain it, He was patient with me to get over it.